I fell from a horse and badly injured my back in the summer of 2006. The accident took place in Sedona, Arizona while I was riding a horse. His name is Su, and he is normally a very smart and gentle horse. On that day, he plodded along slowly, but suddenly raised his front legs high and began galloping.
I quickly lost the reins so I lied on my stomach on the speeding horse. The moment I got hold of the reins again, Su threw me off with all of his might. My body soared high and was dashed to the ground in a moment. I had trained my body with martial arts and exercises for a long time, so I was able to land safely, protecting my head. “Crack!” I heard my lower back say.
As people ran toward me, I heard them calling my name, surprised. Not being able to move my body an inch, I stayed flat on the ground. For a brief moment, I saw the sky and thought it was very beautiful. I was amazed at how mysterious and fascinating our brains are, considering how a part of my brain was able to notice the beauty of the sky, even while my body was in serious pain.
The doctor who came to see me later that day very strongly recommended that I lie still in bed for at least a month. However, as soon as he left, I thought about how I could move my body. While lying in the bed, I vibrated my body left and right very minutely. As the days passed, I expanded my movements to seated and standing postures. Through the various experiments I made with my body, I was able to develop Jang Saeng Walking. Jang Saeng is a Korean word meaning longevity or vitality. This style of walking helped me to heal my back.
In less than a week, I could walk again and had recovered from the fall to a certain extent. However, there was something I hadn’t overcome. It was a fear of horses. The shock I got when I fell down was so strong that my body seemed to remember it vividly. Just thinking of a horse made my body very tense. I thought if I did not overcome my fear, I would not be able to ride a horse again.
Against the wishes of the people around me, I decided to ride Su again. As I expected, I felt my body become nervous. At first, I just got on and off the horse repeatedly. Next, I rode on him, guiding him to walk sedately. I kept going for rides with Su until I was completely free from my fear.
What I learned from this experience is that we should take action in spite of our fear. Everybody has fear. We fear our future because it cannot be predicted. Those who have experienced a failure, feel scared because of the thought they might fail again. One cannot overcome fear merely by thinking. Fear that you haven’t overcome will remain fear, but fear you have overcome will become a beautiful experience that helps you grow.
